Generation Gap

My students are in college, or so I'm told.  Sometimes as I look at my classroom I cannot believe that these people are my age, or in many cases older than me.  (They know none of this and probably think I'm a matronly old woman who makes up grammar exercises on the weekends.)  These are not your average American 22 year olds.  Nearly all of my students have braces, and all of them look like they're about 14.  Class involves endless picking on the opposite sex -- think pinching, hair pulling, laughing hysterically when someone asks if they can go to the bathroom.  The boys stick together, congregated in the back of the classrooms, mumbling to one another under there breath and laughing at their friends when they get something wrong.  The girls sit in the front.  They wear colorful high heels and giggle uncontrollably over every new vocabulary word.  

Perhaps I should have known better than to teach this group of students "relationship" vocabulary.  50 minutes standing in front of them trying to explain the definition of "to hook up" was probably more trouble than it was worth.  Although they were thrilled when I told them that saying, "I hooked up with him" was "super slang."  At one point during class I said the word "sex." This was too much.  Mayhem ensued.  They were inconsolable, laughing hysterically, repeating the word "sex!" over and over until almost every student was hyperventilating with laughter.  I waited it out.  

After they learned their new "relationship" vocabulary I had them write personal ads.  Each of them was assigned a character.  Mayhem again.  When I assigned a boy in my class to be "a girl who was cheated on" I thought he was going to walk out.  In a quiet rebellion he had the "girl who was cheated on" be named "Elena." 

For the most part I adored their ads.  One student assigned to be a "single Dad" wrote, "I'm not a flirty guy but my wife is gone away.  I want to go out with someone who will make me better.  I am an easy laughing guy who can make a crying baby smile immediately. You'll fall in love with me." Another student wrote, "Now I want someone who can take care of me.  I want someone who is not a liar.  I hope I will find someone that have real love.  And I will send my real love from my real heart to you too."  

There was something so simple about what they wrote.  Grammar aside the idea of a "real heart" struck me.  Whether they knew it or not what they wrote echoed quite real emotions, and emotions which made me feel like perhaps we really are the same age.  

The Daily News

Since we last spoke there have been a few small changes to our universe.  For one, Michael Jackson.  Being abroad when there is big news back home is pretty disorienting.  For one, I can't really get a handle on how big this news is.  Second of all, at work on Friday I suddenly represented the United States of America at large.  Numerous staff members and students approached me, all saying the same exact words, "I apologize for the loss of your superstar."  In my conversation class they were even more interested.  "How do you feel?" they kept asking me.  I don't really know how I feel.  But I do know that the Thai people expect me to feel something. And if I am the only Westerner in the room they certainly expect me to feel something important. 

On another note entirely last night I went to what can only be described as a communist themed bar.  I do not understand about 98% of the things that happened during my 4 hours there.  I do know there were many people performing on stage.  Some had dreads, some had on fake mustaches, some were delicate Thai girls in traditional garb.  I also know that the walls were decorated with massive portraits of communist leaders as well as a few completely inexplicable additions. Namely Ringo Starr in a Hamlet pose and nearly an entire wall devoted to Julia Louis Dreyfus.  Still, I was happy to dance along to the music I didn't understand underneath the wall-sized portrait of a black Bob Dylan.  I was even happier to watch Jason get ambushed by a brigade of Thai men (definitely over 40 and definitely straight) who forced him to chug a beer and dance with them.  Thankfully no one turned to us when the Michael Jackson impersonator moonwalked onto the stage.  For even with the buzz of whiskey refills and the looming portrait of what looked somehow both like Ross Perot and Mao, if I had heard the refrained apology or been asked how I felt about my superstar I would have told them that to be doing the Thriller dance in a communist club was far too soon.  

My Humble Abode

My small home! Think freshman year dorm room meets hotel. It is by no means glam but I am trying to make it a little less visually grating in here.  

Desk/TV/Refridgeration moment. 

My teeny closet.

My bed.  It rivals Socorro's in firmness.  Shout out to anyone who understands what that means. 

Entrance to my bathroom and me in my Chiang Mai maternity gear. 

But this is the view from my balcony.  It makes everything else quite ok. 

Translation

I spend a lot of my time laughing over the Thai to English translations that I see every day yet now I'm beginning to wonder if a culture or a nations way of thinking can ever be translated into another language.  I started thinking about this after noticing that the refrain I heard on my way out of the office door to teach was, "have fun." Whenever I'm heading to class nearly every teacher I pass says this to me.  In the U.S. I'm used to hearing and saying something more along the lines of "good luck," or "I'm sorry."  Going to the library at school, heading to class, going to study -- the parting words were always one of those two phrases.  The difference between "I'm sorry" and "have fun" has caught my ear.  Are our sentiments towards obligation so different?  

By my students I have twice been seriously affected by the way they speak and what they say.  On Monday two students barreled into my classroom laughing and making fun of one another.  The boy rushed over to me, "Can I say this? Is it ok to say 'Sa has a foreign husband.'?" "Yes I said. You can definitely say Sa has a foreign husband."  I turned to Sa.  "Do you have a foreign husband?" "Yes," she said, "from Arizona." "Does he live in Thailand?" I asked.  "He passed away a long time ago," she replied.  I was speechless.  Sa is 24 years old.  The fact that she is a widow so young and a widow who could tell me about her husbands death between smiles and studies absolutely floored me.  

Today a similar situation occurred.  A girl, Noi, in my class had been absent for all of last week. Today she came to my office to get the materials she had missed.  "I'm sorry I was not here," she said, "My father was dying."  I stared at her.  "It's ok Ajarn," she said comforting me more than I could possibly comfort her.  "He is no more."  From their she took out her notebook and dutifully copied the vocabulary words on transportation and restaurants that I had prepared for the week her eyes never leaving her paper.  There is so much that I wish I could have said but I know that there are some gaps in the culture that translation will never fill.  And so I dictated, and answered Noi's questions on how to get from here to there.  

Post Script

I'm feeling a little guilty about my last post because I feel like it sounds like I'm making fun of their English.  I'm really not! I love my students and I commend them for how hard they are trying to learn and how much they already know.  If I were to write a skit in Thai it would read something like this: 

Elena: Hello! How are you? Chicken, pork, rice, water. 1, 2, 3, 17.  The mall.  Thank you! It's alright.

Those are all the words I know.  Tomorrow I start my Thai lessons. 

A message from my students

Below I'm giving you an example of a skit written by students.  I'm not sure if it's really meta or just a little off.  Side bar I've been pronouncing poor Liew's name as Leo for the last 2 weeks.  Today the students in my class informed me that "leo" means "really really bad" in Thai.  No wonder Liew blushes when I call her name.  And now...the skit: (ps the prompt was introducing a friend to your family)

Sa: Who's gonna pick you up? 

Ploy: May parents but it's so late now. 

Dump: You can go with me. 

Ploy: No problem, thanks for your kind. 

T: Sorry I'm late.  It was traffic jam.  We had to pick up Liew at nursery before. 

Liew: Sister! Who are you. 

I love my students. 

Sunday Night

Me on my birthday eating birthday cake on a bamboo raft at a nearby reservoir. 

A scene I could not resist. 

Water bottles that sit next to my desk at work

Me in Chiang Mai

A wat in the old city 

Hello everyone! 

A had a lovely weekend.  Filled with walking around, trying out new bars and restaurants and practicing Thai in the new little workbook that I bought.  One odd moment.  I went to buy a drying rack today to dry my laundry (I did laundry successfully!) and they gave me a complimentary cheese grater.  This is one of those frequent moments during which I wish I spoke Thai.  Why was I being given a cheese grater? What did this have to do with the drying rack and hamper that I purchased? Yet another moment during which I just smile and say thank you and have absolutely no idea what is going on.

But the purpose of this post is not to regale my weekend tales it is to post some pictures, finally.  They are obviously above! 

Until soon!

Finally the Weekend

Good morning from Thailand.  

I guess the best news I have is that I have a home! It is a teeny one room apartment (more like a dorm room or hotel room really) but I have a beautiful view and it's in a great location very central to everything.  I'm very happy and am in the process of trying to make things homey and cozy.  This is an uphill battle considering the tiled floor makes the entire room look like an oversized bathroom and the lighting makes me feel like I'm in surgery.  But I will do what I can.  Hopefully after a few days of market shopping I will find some fabrics and such to make it a little more colorful in here.  

The work week was actually quite good! A few highlights included the numerous presents which I seem to get on my desk every day (yesterday I was given lettuce), a baker woman who stopped by the office and set up a temporary bake sale which was delicious, and watching my Conversation students play pictionary which was just about one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen.  I told them to choose team names after I broke them into 2 teams.  In my first class the teams were "Payap" (the name of the University) and "Papaya."  My second class named their teams "Beautiful Team" and "Flower."  This somewhat shows the personalities of the two classes.  The first class is funny and rowdy.  The second class is a lot of cute girls who giggle throughout everything.  

The laughter in class has become one of the classroom staples.  When I call attendance I swear it's just about the funniest thing that has ever happened to any of them.  Kids are crying with laughter as I call out the names in what is my best effort at saying them.  To be fair their names are all English words so I say them as I would normally say English words.  That is the hilarious part.  They expect me to say "Dump" and "Stop" with a Thai accent Thai accent.  I'm not even sure how one would do those things.  But until I figure it out I'm happy to entertain.  

That is all for now.  I'm off to find some breakfast in this city.  

Tuesday

Today the copy twins wore tan.  Yesterday I wore an outfit that prompted the head of the English Department to say to me from her 4 foot stance, "now you look like a real teacher."  This slightly concerns me as I never really want to look like a real teacher.  As she said this I had an instant flashback to a student in my Conversation class say to me earlier the day before, "Ajarn Elena, you have chalk on your butt." Maybe I do look like a real teacher.  

For your reading pleasure I've decided to include a few fun facts that I've picked up over my week and a half (I can't believe it's only been a week and a half....) in Thailand. 

1) There are 3800 7-elevens in Thailand 

2) Chiang Mai translates to "the new walled city."  Chiang Mai was founded in 1296 which makes me wonder about the "the old walled city." 

3) My frizz in Thailand is out of control

4) Food is eaten with a spoon and a fork.  This is not a chopstick land. 

5) There is more Winnie the Pooh in my daily life here than there has ever been or ever will be. 

Stay tuned. 

Turning 22

I never thought that I'd spend the night of my 22nd birthday sleeping in a storage closet on a dirty mattress in Thailand.  Well here I am.  Needless to say the housing situation has yet to be solved.  

We are still homeless but it is not for lack of effort.  In addition to the house on the border of the prison we have seen what feels like every house/guesthouse/apartment/condo in Chiang Mai.  Those in our price range are generally a bit sketchy.  A few highlights include an apartment building where we were assured that "most of the hookers have moved out" and a house that we were shown at night by the light of a cell phone flashlight.  (The electricity was not working.)  Soooooo the housing crisis continues and here I am getting flee bites in a utility closet.  

Who would have thought that 22 would begin here?

Updates

I feel like Sarah Plain and Tall in my work clothes.  Long peasant skirts, ill fitting blouses.  If I stay here too long I worry I'll wake up one morning and be one of those 50 year old women with braids.  I think Thailand is going to kill my sense of style entirely.  I wear the mormon outfits to work and then I come back to my guesthouse and put on more choice ensembles.  (usually something in the variety of maternity wear.) 

My outfits however are highly rivaled by the husband and wife duo I have come to call "the copy twins."  At Payap (where I work) there are various xerox stations around campus where we bring our materials to be copied. The one I've started use is run by a husband and wife team (adorable.) The best thing about them though is that they wear matching outfits every day.  Today they wore jeans and white and blue plaid tops. I will keep you posted on the costume changes.  

The other thing that has been dominating my days is the apartment hunt. I, along with the three people I've been traveling and staying with, set out every day after work following every lead possible.  It's still a no go.  Yesterday we looked at an unfurnished house on the border of the women's prison.  This is about as successful as we've been.  

The other massive update is that I realized why people have been giving me strange looks when I said what I thought to be "thank you."  Apparently what I've been saying translates to, "thank you leg." 

Over and out. 

Every day gets weirder and weirder

Today was Tuesday.  My students knew the word for Tuesday.  This was exciting.  

Today I taught two general English classes which fueled a plethora of amusing moments. Amusing moment number 1.  My first encounter with a famed Thai lady boys.  This particular lady boy goes by Nancy and is my student.  I would have NEVER known Nancy was a he until I looked on the attendance sheet and she was listed as Mr. [insert cryptic Thai name here].  Also I handed out a little questionnaire to all of my students to gauge their English.  The final question on the worksheet was, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Nancy's response was "I want to be a woman!!!!!!!!!" Classic.  

Additionally on the little worksheet I made was the question, "What is your favorite movie?" One of the best responses I received from a student was, "Thaitanic." 

Another amusing moment today occurred when I went to make what I thought would be a simple purchase at the campus bookstore.  I went to buy folders.  These are much harder to come by than one might think.  What I ended up purchasing are two of the best examples of Asian uses of English that I have so far stumbled across.  (they like the look of English words so they put them on items regardless of what the words actually say.)  Consequently one of my folders says, "small and cute mini pigs!!!" all over it.  The other one has facts about breast milk.  

Lastly, I made a peace offering with the slightly quiet woman who I share a little cubicle with.  I gave her an "I heart NY" pencil in the hopes of sparking a friendship.  My plan worked and she returned my gesture by bringing me a bottle of what she described as "drinkable fermented milk" and followed it up by saying, "now we can share!" 

All in all a pretty successful day if you ask me. 

First Day of Work and Then Some

Today I started my teaching job at Payap University.  The University is about 25 minutes outside of the city and the mode of transportation was the back of Ted's motorbike.  On the way to work we stopped for breakfast which included me pointing at random things that I could not identify and then eating them.  (bamboo was amongst my early morning delicacy.) 

Work was weird.  Good weird or bad weird?  I guess only time can tell.  The English Department is an estrogen-fest, which is in many aspects quite lovely.  The office is filled with warm and welcoming Thai women, all of whom tried to make me as comfortable as possible.  They brought me bottles of water and a mug to put my pencils in and told me not to get homesick when it started to rain.  

I have my own little cubicle and across from me sits a very jolly women with lots of Pooh Bear paraphernalia.  For the first few hours there was nothing for me to do.  So in typical Thai oddness I was given a copy of "Reader's Digest" to pass the time.  A nice Western teacher took me under her wing and showed me around the University a bit.  Took me to the lunch spot and pointed out the non-squat toilets.  

Suddenly it was 1 o'clock and I was standing in front of a room full of Thai kids and was apparently supposed to teach them English.  What I learned during that class is that Thai University kids are not exactly like American University kids.  For starters there is a lot of cell-phone chattery going on even as I was teaching.  Also i am referred to as Ajarn Elena (or Professor Elena) which is going to take some getting used to.  

Another thing I discovered were the nicknames they all use.  After a rocky few minutes of taking attendance using their 30338343983982 letter long Thai names they began telling me their nicknames.  My class included Guitar (or as he said it "gee tah" and then included a pantomime of guitar playing,) Opal (a boy's name), Peggy, and Champu (pronounced like my Cuban grandmother saying Shampoo.) 

Class was difficult particularly since I did not have any idea what I was supposed to be teaching them.  Tomorrow I will be teaching "English 3."  I don't really know what that means.  

Hopefully tomorrow will be easier than today.  At least now I know how to get to the bathroom. 

In the Beginning

I arrived this morning.  Simply stunning, the world we live in.  I will not stop being amazed by the fact that 20 hours on an airplane can land me in the middle of an entirely new world.  (Obviously though, Starbucks pioneered this frontier before I did.)  I haven't even spent 12 hours in Chiang Mai, Thailand but already I am confused, amused and a bit shell-shocked.  Just to give you a taste of what has happened over the last 12 hours.  

1) Everyone bows to me. (and to everyone else, but still...)

2) I ate multiple things that I could not identify including but not limited to, 2 fruits sold on the side of the road. One which looked like a magenta sea urchin and the other like an apple/egg plant. 

3) I got a Thai cell phone and now receive bizarro text messages in Thai. 

4) I had an entire meal for $1. 

5) My fellow travelers and I were shown an apartment by literally a Thai Saddam Hussein wearing a tank top and hot pants and playing a gameboy classic. 

Tomorrow I start teaching.  This is very intimidating and made even more intimidating due to the fact that I don't know what I'm teaching, what time the classes are or even how to get to school.  Luckily my friend Ted (who has been in Chiang Mai for the past year) is driving me to my first day of work so I won't be hopelessly lost.  On that note I think a shower is in order. 

Lots of love, 

Elena