Thursday, July 9, 2009

"I Have No Idea What's Going On Right Now"

"I have no idea what's going on right now." I think I say this phrase upwards of 100 times a day in Thailand.  And the thing is, when I say it I genuinely mean it.  

A few examples.
While we were in Koh Phi Phi a friend in our traveling group had a birthday.  Lauren, his girlfriend, surprised him with a cake and candles.  However we were all surprised by the one toothed man who showed up with a guitar to serenade us with the Thai version of Happy Birthday.  (The Thai version totally skips over the "happy birthday dear ________" part and just says "happy birthday" a lot.) I have no idea what's going on right now.  

Last night on the flight back to Chiang Mai my fear of flying was put into overdrive when the pilot left the cockpit to go and schmooze with the stewardesses in the back of the plane.  I have no idea what's going on right now. 

Again last night, we were corralled to various different desolate gates in the Bangkok airport until we were all hoarded onto a bus and driven to a strange tarmac.  Save one passenger who was escorted into a very sketchy looking van.  I have no idea what's going on right now.  

While walking on a jungle path in the dark led by a barefoot Thai man the most enormous snake I have ever seen (definitely bigger than I am) crossed the path in front of us.  The Thai man turned around and said, "good snake."  I think I blacked out.  I really had no idea what was going on.  

When the Thai people employ their absolute favorite English phrase which makes virtually no sense I never have any idea what's going on.  "Same, same, but different," they say.  What? What is the same? What is different? What does that mean? I feel like Ethel listening to one of  Lucy's half-hatched ideas.  Except the visual you should really have is me in my Chiang Mai Maternity (this is what I'm calling the line when I put it out) wear scratching my head in wonder while Thai people nod with knowing conviction.  

I have no idea what's going on right now. 

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