Old love rediscovered

I have rekindled my love affair with the poet Dorothy Parker. I discovered her in High School and at 15 found her words earth-moving. At 22 I feel the same way. Here are two of her poems that I can't get out of my head.

Resume

Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp:

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.

De Profundis

Oh, is it, then, Utopian

To hope that I may meet a man

Who'll not relate, in accents suave,

The tales of girls he used to have?

The Holidays

It's festival season here in the North country. Halloween followed closely by the Thai festival, Loi Khratong.

For Halloween I dressed up as a baseball player. Costume pickings being slim and the aching truth that Thai pants will not button on my body, I manufactured said baseball uniform with the items from my closet. However, I overlooked one small detail. Many Thai people do not know what baseball players dress like. My night mainly consisted of answering the simple question, "what are you?"

The morning after Halloween Chiang Mai woke up to 3 days of Loi Khratong. Loi Khratong is the Thai festival during which they apologize to the river for using her water and for polluting her water. For days Chiang Mai has been turned upside down in celebration. The main marks of the holiday are lighting floating candles and releasing them into the sky as well as making "khratong" which are little floating objects made of flowers, leaves, frawns and candles. They then float the khratong onto the river and the city's moat. Essentially the apologize for polluting the river by REALLY polluting the river. It is beautiful though.

Imagine just for a second the entire city out in the streets. The sky filled with lanterns and the water filled with candles.

Then add into the mix the fact that every man, woman and child is simultaneously lighting fireworks. The city has essentially been exploding for the last 3 days.

As I learn about Thai culture I am trying to teach my students a bit about American culture. This weeks topic in Conversation is "Iconic Western Figures." I wrote the names of 10 people on the board. People who I thought everyone should know. There were a few mistakes in the identification of these Western giants.

"Iconic Western Figures" as identified by Conversation 216.

Shakespeare: The author of "Romeo and Juliet", "Phantom of the Opera" and "Grease".

Marilyn Monroe: A woman with a black spot on her face.

Uncle Sam: A bad guy character from The Simpsons

Albert Einstein: The first man on the moon (with crazy hair)

I think we have all learned a few things this holiday season.

Back to School

It's back to school in Chiang Mai. While in America this would mean new notebooks, new pencils, perhaps a new first-day-of-school-shirt, apparently in Thailand it means new hair. While many of my students are the same as last semester it is nearly impossible to tell. Is that you, Moo, under that new shag? And didn't Fluke used to have short black hair? How did Pui grow out her bangs in under 3 weeks?

Also in typical Chiang Mai style I was told what I was teaching yesterday. Day two of classes and only 3 days before the syllabi were due. Mass Media, Conversation, some cryptic class for Chinese students and American Literature 1850-present. I recognize that the Thai sense of time is a little broader than ours but they do not seem to understand that a lot was actually written between 1850 and the present. "Choose the most famous story from 1850," was the advice I was given. Easier said than done.

Not to mention that American Literature 1850-present, only has 5 students enrolled in it. Among them is a Turkish guy, a midget and a lady-boy named Maxi. (I can only assume a la Maxi Pad).

Oh things should be interesting as we leave behind Mark Twain and round our way into the 20th century. Which contrary to popular to popular Thai belief, is not the same as the 2000's.

Lovin' it Thailand. Just lovin' it.

Back from Beyond

It's a daunting task to write when there is so much to be said. Since we last spoke I have been to Beirut and back.

I'm not quite sure how to describe Beirut. To say it was dichotomous would be an understatement. When thinking of Beirut there is the obvious initial thought of war. Now, I will also think of warring labels. Fendi, Gucci and every runway wanna-be in between, line downtown and glamorous women teeter from store to store on 4 inch stilettos.

Yes it is true that there are soldiers in the streets and tanks on corners. But there also seem to be more Range Rovers than people and more eyeliner than I've ever seen on any nation of women.

To me Beirut's beauty was both understated and intangible. More then images I left Beirut with feeling. There is the noted element of a European society, the famed party scene, the expensively dressed city and inhabitants. But there is also feeling you get, walking through the streets of a city filled with religion, history and a sense of volatility.

There is often the unlikely scene of a Christian cross in the skyline right next to the Islamic crescent moon. There is the eerie quiet of the looming bombed out Holiday Inn (picture up top) shadowing the luxury buildings practically next door. And there is the always awesome scope of the Sea, the Mediterranean hugging the city and reaching out to the mountains beyond.

I don't want to romanticize Beirut beyond recognition. Perhaps, my eyes were clouded and the Beirut I saw was filled with stars. But, if that's the case then I choose starry-eyed and a new city I love.

Update from Bahrain

I'm in Bahrain. That should be update enough. 

First off I think I scandalized the entire flight from Hong Kong.  Me being the only white person on board an aircraft definitely made the rest of the passengers a tad uncomfortable.  Many a stare. Many a shy smile just to make sure I'd smile back. 

But here I am in the hotel.  A man just came to the door asking if I would be "requesting any adult services tonight?" I did not understand until circa attempt 10 and by then the question was a mortifying joke.  

No adult services please. Thanks Bahrain. 

Return

The silence is broken.  I blame China, and the iron curtain that blocked my blogspot.  Current status is the Hong Kong airport.  Making the transfer from my Beijing flight to the flight that will take me to the Middle East. Beirut via Bahrain.  

But oh China how you filled me with wonder, and multiple times horror.  1 week in Beijing and some of my biggest take-aways were baby shit in the streets, (imagine half a billion babies sans diapers defecating at their leisure through slits in their onesies.) More people than I have ever seen in one place (it makes Manhattan look like a rural intersection.) And of course the tangible take-aways, an opium bottle, a one armed sweater and a Mao pocket watch.  For my purchases I blame the Chinese people who follow you with said Mao pocket watch and one-armed sweater until all you can do is cave and by the useless propaganda, the impractical winter-wear.  

What I can say with certainty is that China is out of control.  The Great Wall is great as promised, the people do a lot of flem hacking, and the art is fascinating. 

I can also say with certainty that I am homesick for Americans.  "Lost in Translation" (though about Tokyo) hit the nail on the head.  Walking through the streets of Beijing one gets the sense that every person in the world is Chinese except for you.  That is about 1/6 true.  

But the Chinese seem excited by Americans.  Our rumored weight and naivete.  Our cutthroat image and good ol' boy look.  The Chinese even seem excited about Obama though perhaps for the wrong reasons.  Oba-Mao? So they say. 

Exams

It is final exam time here in Chiang Mai. While this brings the usual array of sweat, tears, angry fathers asking if "Miss Nok fail?????" It has also brought some unbelievable errors by my beloved students. The following two gems are taken from their final exam.

1. Re: health care, "The last important is you have to cover your diagnoses or noses."

2. Re: the gay community, "Their cost of living are expensive because they usually pay for their fashion, rainbow flag (symbol of gay) and lawsuit."

how?